Hellraiser (2022) - New Pins in the Head

Well, here we are, in an age where every single franchise is up for grabs and all of the popular intellectual properties are being used for identity politics and virtue signaling. So many famous brands are being used for people's political agendas and all we can do is not watch them. So, while we're waiting for them to come to their senses, we have an unexpected diamond in the rough. Little did we know that Clive Barker's master work has been given a new coat of paint after ten movies. 

Hellraiser has been one of those movie franchises that has a particular crowd watching it. These are the horror fanatics that don't mind a bit of gore, so long as the gore is being used to tell a good story. The Hellbound Heart was a very good story, a novella, if you will. It showed a different world that we grew attached to and we have been seriously lacking these past thirty years. 

After so many half assed sequels and cheap scripts being forced into Hellraiser lore when they didn't belong, we finally get a reboot that is actually warranted! Yes, an IP that could actually use some revamping. While Spawn is still in the mix, let's enjoy some blood, shall we?

First of all, we get what we came for. True to the Hellraiser brand, there is plenty of blood and gore. Now, how does it hold up alongside other Hellraiser gore? Pretty damn well, I'm going to admit. The flesh tearing and the pain is quote the spectacle and very well crafted in its kills. There's chains, wires, knify things and lot's of tendons. There are some very uncomfortable moments with needles and air passages and wow, they really put their minds to this, like they should have. 

Next, the cenobites! Yes, they have a colorful array of cenobites and they come out in full force. The only two that we see return are the lead cenobite which Doug Bradley played so long ago, and Chatterteeth. Now played by Jamie Clayton, the often nicknamed "Pinhead" makes a triumphant return. Chatterteeth, on the other hand, did not make such an impression, but it was nice seeing him again. Beyond those two, we get some pretty imaginative imagery through all of the others. It's really nice to see what they were able to do with both practical and digital effects. They look very well made and unique. Some of them I kind of wish we got a better look at but they did very well otherwise. 

The story is an area where a lot of the Hellraiser sequels were lacking, and this movie does away with all pretenses. In fact, it changes it up just enough to keep us interested, while also keeping in enough lore to warrant fan nostalgia. This time, they pander to the audience in a good way and a way that doesn't insult their intelligence. What a twist! Instead of the normal "they open the box and get put in Jacob's ladder" trope we saw through so many iterations, this time, it's more complicated. 

Now the Lament configuration stabs the user in the hand and that marks them as a sacrifice. After six go down, the the Leviathan configuration brings the Cenobite's god from hell to grant you one wish. It's a twist on the story that actually works quite well. Not only do we get to see the cenobites quite often, but it brings up the body count while working toward a goal. It actually plays very well as a Hellraiser story. 

After so many Jacob's Ladder plots and movies shoehorning Doug Bradley into nonsensical plots, this one is a serious breath of fresh air. This is one that actually plays with the lore and brings us something we can sink our teeth into. Rather than dumping a puzzle box into whatever they wanted and calling it a day, we get a movie with actual characters with goals and understandable struggles. Those struggles just so happen to involve chains with hooks and spikes and that's what we wanted!

The characters are probably the part where this falls a little short, but there's nothing new there. Riley is understandable as a character, but she's not especially endearing as she mostly just wants to get her brother back. That's about it. Beyond that, she does want to do the right thing but is so bad at it that it becomes a little comical. We get the other array of characters and they are there, but there's not much else to them other than they want money, they want love and they want pleasure but they only get pain. Pretty normal as Hellraiser goes, and you know what? I'm okay with that. They fill the need and fulfill their purpose for bringing us entertainment, so let's trudge on.

To address the elephant in the room, yes, they get a woman to play the Hell Priest and no, that is not a problem. In fact, it is by the original book. One of the cenobites was described as having female features along with male features and thus being seen as sexless. This is the first time we see the reimagining of this character to resemble their novella counterpart. Well played. It works very well and Jamie Clayton does a damn good job of having otherworldly movements and expressions as she causes blood and chains to happen. She has a few callback lines, but not nearly as many as she could have. They didn't only have the nostalgia baiting to entice you, they have dialogue you can enjoy and get behind. 

That's one thing that really shined for this movie. The fact that it did not rely on its former titles for its imagery, dialogue, characters or anything like that. It took what it needed from the other titles and then went off on its own. It is its own movie and it has its own identity. This is something that is severely lacking in movies of this era. I need to give this movie props. 

Is it perfect? No, it has its down points in the plot and the parts with the "friends" just screaming and complaining at each other does get old. It has its meandering moments that you just want to get over with so you can get to the killing. Spoiler alert, it gets to the killing and everything is fine. 

We finally have a Hellraiser iteration to call a part of our horror genre. The body horror is very real with very unique cenobites and the visual effects are a beautiful mix of CGI and practical effects. You don't care what happens to the humans because they're annoyances as well as characters, but that's to be expected when the end goal is to get our Hellraiser fix. The changes that are made are welcome and it doesn't spoon feed you membaberries as a lazy attempt to squeeze feelings out of you. If you are a Hellraiser fan or a horror fan wanting to get into Hellraiser, here you go. Get this movie and turn down the lights.

Weapons (2025) - Pass the Blame and the Blood

 

Just when you thought all horror was lost and we'd never see the night of darkness again, there comes this little low budget gem. Weapons is a bit of a strange tale about a smallish town that has a very mysterious happening. All of the children ran out of their houses one morning night at 2:17 am, leaving everyone in the town to wonder why. Obviously, the parents all panic, thinking that they have just lost their children for good. Police are baffled and the pressure is on to find answers. 

Starting with the struggles of Julia Garner's Justine character, as the teacher of all 17 missing children, is suspected to be behind this horrible happening. You see how she copes with the situation, which is by the skin of the tooth, and how she is trying very hard to investigate the disappearance while also dodging her boss, played by Benedict Wong, and the police to do so. 

What this movie pulls off from the very start is the angst and the dark, mysterious atmosphere as the parents suffer, namely Josh Brolin's character, Archer, who lost his son, Matthew. You see his struggles and how he does not handle it well at all in some cases, but then as the mystery unfolds, you see his wits start to come into play and you see he is far more resourceful than he looked. As an architect, he is able to measure distance, radius and he is able to decipher the direction the children were running from the camera footage capturing it.  

Even the crackhead character is played very well by Austin Abrams, and I hope to have a good review of his upcoming Resident Evil movie (but I hold out no hope). You see the lies he tells to score a hit and then you see that he is also just trying to do the right thing while also scoring a lot of drugs in the process. His exploits with Justine's ex, the roughed up cop played by Alden Ehrenreich, who is showing acting chops far beyond his debut as Han Solo in that disaster Solo Movie. The two of them seriously rough each other up, especially when the crackhead's needles seem to find a way to connect to the questionably moraled police officer. 

The sequences of horror are what really bring this movie to the green spotlight. It is so refreshing to see a proper build up with a proper payoff that you probably did not see coming. It was obvious from the start that this was going to be supernatural, but how it pulled it off was very surprising. The villain of this film is very apparent, but her methods are shocking and she lacks any sort of moral compass throughout the entire runtime. The killings are brutal, gruesome and they are very loud. The more this plot unfolds, the more horrible the implecations. There are lines that this movie thankfully does not show, but they are unfortunately quite impending. 

The final nail that drives this movie home is the theme that it sprinkles throughout the entire movie. The title "weapons" had some strange depictions, but then the undertones of weaponizing our guilt and grief through terrible situations is very apparent. How the parent and the teacher both set upon the task of finding and saving those children is both endearing while also remaining deeply troubling. The lengths they go to in order to find those children can go borderline to downright insane. How she stalks the final child who did not disappear is the same exact notion. It's understandable why she did it, but how it troubles the child is also palpable! 

This movie takes the mystery elements of a horror and slams them in your face in the most glorious way. The portrayals are amazing by a very solid cast, the directing is obviously high in creativity and concept while keeping you very engaged. Zach Cregger will also be directing the aforementioned Resident Evil film, and if this movie is any indication, it could be the first actual awesome movie in the entire franchise. No, the first film did not age well and no, W.S. Anderson is not a good director. Knife Fight Me!